Haiti

There are so many blogs and post and newspaper articles and broadcasts on the disaster that is Haiti right now that I decided to wait a bit before writing anything. And now that the wait is over, here I am. It was a sad day when I heard the news. There is an incredibly important person in my life whose family lives in Haiti and I was distressed by it all. Shock is a strange thing. Somehow the first few moments after hearing about it, I did not know how to react...I was almost...unaffected. Looking back I know that it was a kind of pain settling in for these are my people. And no it's not just becasue they are black - like me, or live on an island - like me, tried to make a life for themselves - like me. No. It stemmed from the fact that they are part of my race...the human race, and what affects my brother and sister creates an impact on me too.

So I offer up my thoughts and my prayers. To the sick and the dead and the dying.

If there's any good in this world I would think that those who left us will come back as sunshine...and every moment that a golden ray warms my heart I'll know...someone had to exit this plane of existence so that I would be warm...it's sad, but it's also a wonderful thing.

Way Too Long

I would like to say that life got in the way and I have not had the time to write this blog but the truth is, I would be lying. I got in the way. Sometimes we are so blinded by our daily existence that we refuse to see that there's bigger and better things out in the world for us to find. That happened to me and for the past eight months I have been living everyone's life but my own.

There is a saying that you have to be happy being YOU before you can concentrate on anyone else. So true is this word of wisdom and though I knew it all along, I concentrated on all the things that were not mine and focused my energy on making the world presentable. I moved things, organized small spaces, got rid of, added more, placed pictures on the walls of lives that I never should have been working on in the first place. You have to help yourself before you can even attempt to help others.

So here I am on this overcast day in January. The sky is an angry grey, my heart is pumping fiercely and my eyes can see the beauty within the coming storm - I am free again. Not from shackles or bars but free from the prison in my head where I placed myself. It was a hard road and the healing has only now begun but this is a start. Baby steps I say, I've never had a lot of patience but I am learning - time is a good teacher.

I've missed the rain and dancing in it, I've missed the feeling of so much potential building up that it scares you to the core, I've missed the smell of fear as I try to do something that is bigger than my dreams, but most of all I miss waking up knowing that I can be anything, do anything, achieve anything that I want to.

My life will no longer be defined by the meaningless drivel that just takes up space.

Heck no!

Because my life is a journey...and everyone else is just along for the ride.

Been a While

Its been a long time since I've done any posting on here and I have decided its time I started again. I began a new job on May 19th at Applebee's. My book is being worked on and I have resigned myself to the fact that I may be here for a while. Which is the reason I am in the process of fixing up the place to make it livable. We'll see what happens from there...

Not Much going on today except...

Matt is too busy being a PI to do anything else so I'm left home alone...hoorah!

Tek is an asshole as usual and goes around jumping up on everyone and everything...bloody hell!

I have this great idea for a book but can't come up with a hook sentence to begin...can anyone say inspiration?

Its been too long since I have not had a job and to be brutally honest its rather frustrating.

My back, I am convcinced is completely broken and I think my nether years are going to be spent walking crookedly.

My Favourite Shows - for now

Numbers do not indicate highest rating.

1. Leverage

2. NCIS

3. United States of Tara

4. The Big Bang Theory

5. Bones

6. Life on Mars

7. Criminal Minds

8. Eureka

9. Legend of the Seeker

10. Battlestar Gallactica

11. True Blood

12. Pushing Daisies (dammitt* they cancelled the show)

13. True Blood

Hugh Jackman is awesome!

To be quite honest I did not look at the oscars last evening and neither did I plan on doing so as I had a lot of writing to do. You know when the inspiration hits you just have to roll with the punches but...OH MY GODNESS! I looked at one thing and one thing only this morning - Hugh Jackman's opening act and I was blown away by it all. The man is a genius.

Talk about total package. The man has great looks, an obviously incredible personality and I learned that he is a funny man as well. Can anyone top that? So hats off to the most talented Australian there ever was. If only his name was anything but Hugh, I'd name all my children after him.

New Book Day

Today I woke with a crak in my neck and sunshine spilling out of windows. I can't remember having left the bloody things open in the first place. I must say that while I love the sun, its terrible to have a creak with beautiful bright lights reminding you how wonderful the day can be. Well that just sucks! I figured since I had one thing going against me and another for, I should take it as a good omen and do something constructive.

I need desperately to begin working on a new book.

Did I mention that I listened to the entire audio of Neil Gaiman reading his latest Nebula Award winning childrens book - wait for it - The Graveyard Book? I enjoyed it immensely and of course I have been a huge fan of the masterful Gaiman since American Gods. Frightfully clever piece of work if I may so myself - inspiring piece of literature that anyone with a good brain for reading should pick up.

Now where was I? Strayed off the topic again I did. Ah well yes - a new book is in order after the horrifying "Confessions of a Vampire," which has left a bitter taste in my mouth and the agents that I tried to ship it off to no doubt. Shame on you lass. So I was thinking something more fanciful, less gory, more imaginative, less brooding. I shall write me a book about a girl whose paintings come to life.

Can't say more than that really. And this time I am suggesting to myself a plot. I do so hate plots as the words just come out of me at their leisure but as Mr. Holmes my High School English teacher always lambased. "You must have a plot for anything to work Miss Stoute, for life to work." Bugger that!

Its just a blooming book. Not like I'm about to sign up for helping out with world peace.

Another day perhaps.

I Love the Rain

When I first moved to the US I must admit that I was a bit shocked to find that no one danced in the rain. Were they serious? It was in the middle of a sweltering summer and buckets of pure joy was raining from beautiful grey skies with no one to enjoy it. Imagine my chagrin when I saw students racing by with their umbrellas and raincoats trying desperately not to get a drop of that liquid gold on their outfits. Now I must admit that I must have looked like an awesome fool, standing in the middle of campus with my arms outstretched, face to the sky and feet crashing into puddles as I spun around dizzyingly. (Later I would learn that with rain comes lighting and lightning can strike one dead where he stands but who cares really!)

In those moments when the sky opened I was desperately wishing that my father had moved to the states with me - Daddy is a man who scopes out the weather and can smell the rain hours ahead. With soap in hand, he usually runs out a second before it actually begins raining and we the children would join him to trek through deep puddles and get as drenched as we possibly could. So while I was thinking how much my folks would appreciate the weather, the Dean was being alerted to a madwoman on campus, my coach was foaming at his mouth beacause one of his top athletes was happily catching a cold and my Economics professor stood staring at me, mouth hung open in obvious shock.

Wet as I was I made it to class on time but was escorted out within seconds amidst the laughter of my classmates and the severe frown on an Accounting genius of a teacher who possesed nary a fun bone. I skipped and hopped and danced my way back to my dorm as happy as an uneaten clam and sat on the steps of the Administrative building enjoying nature at its best.

To this day people still look out for me when it rains because of course I never let a downpour go unappreciated. The weatherman is not always correct but when he is you can find me soaking up a good rain shower, oblivious to the hundreds of eyes staring at the obviously crazy girl whom they secretly envy. The thing is that most people would love to go dancing in the rain, they are usually scared however, that they may be looked upon unfavorably. That's life for you I guess. Me, I don't really care what people think. The rain makes me happy, it just does.

So next time you hear the tip tap tapping on your window pane look out and see what it is. If the heavens see it fit to bless us with something so beautiful, the least we can do is enjoy it a little.

Valentine's Day - A Day Later

I have never been a big fan of the Valentine's Day holiday since I believe that it is a conspiracy developed by man hating females to get those of the opposite sex to spend exorbitant amounts of money for no apparent reason. I still feel that way by the way but after having gone out yesterday and experiencing a banging good time I can now say that you do not need wads of cash to a Valentine's Day make.

That's all I have for today...later probably i'll come up with something else.

He he

Can't wait to go Home

Videos of Tek

The first video is Tek and myself playing in the snow. In the second, he has an infection in his eye but refuses to take his meds unless there's peanut butter involved. Too bad he's already eaten the entire container.

Tommorrow I Die

But for today can I just be?

I saw...I pondered...I made a video...

Its not everyday that one gets to make a video as a job application and after reading about 'The Best Job in the World," I decided that I should at least give it a try right? After all I have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain and so do the thousands more who applied. Needless to say I am sort of debating whether to send off this bloody vid or not. Ah well, here goes.

Wanna Go Home

Life gets at me sometimes...not everytime, but sometimes when I am awake it creeps up and tries to convince me that I am actually asleep. Life can be cruel like that. I have the oddest dreams that I am asleep and waking nightmares invade my every moment. I am no longer free and to be quite honest I do not know the reason why. So here I am writing this in the middle of the early morning hoping that my brain will find the difference between my dreams and my waking life. To sleep again peacefully would be incredible but alas, there is no sleep to be had here.

It’s Football not Soccer

Seriously, I am a little miffed when people correct me after I explain that I am about to play some football. “You play football?” I am usually asked in a disbelieving manner, “Aren’t you scared of getting hurt?” Well obviously not, which is when I have to go on to explain that it’s actually real football that I am speaking about, not handball.

Don’t get me wrong I love the American game. It’s fun, fast paced and the commercials are great but it can never compare to bicycle kicks, shoulder tackles or salads. There’s just no competition there. And its not Soccer either…its Football damn it!

Stephen King On 'Twilight' Author: 'Stephenie Meyer Can't Write Worth A Darn'

Well it was about time somebody said it and I will make this short. Stephanie Meyer can't write to save her life and she just keeps sucking the creativity out of the gullible teenagers who think Twilight is something special. Well let me tell you something special, it isn't!

I was mortified when I heard the accolades that trash of a novel - or should I say novels was receiving by critics in the literary world. I mean to read the thing for pure entertainment purposes only is cool but to give merit to the writing? Incesed could not describe my state and its not because I would like the success that Meyer is receiving. I would be so ashamed of myself if I had wriiten Twilight and she ought to be too.

So, when Stephen King finally came out and said that she was a horrible writer, I cheered for joy; especially after a few nut jobs compared her to JK Rowling. OF ALL THE NERVE. The Harry Potter books are well constructed, immaculately written and entertaining to the ninth degree. In comparison, Twilight is an insipid and lackluster affair that would be better off feeding the flames to keep a cold room warm.

According to Mr King., "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

Mr. King, while not a fan of Meyer, understands the books appeal - gag!

"People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It's exciting and it's thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because it's not overtly sexual." Say wha!

He also adds that "A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that's a shorthand for all the feelings that they're not ready to deal with yet."

Well said Stephen. Anyway, it just struck me as odd that no one was really raising a stink about the inappropriateness of the series. True, Ms. Meyer says that sex is not part of her books but how about Bella trying to kill herself when Edward leaves? In my line of thinking that is considerably worse but who am I to say anything? Its not like I am a published author or anything; just another girl who actually appreciates good literature.

A game of Cricket --- and not the insect either

It’s been approximately three years since I held a cricket bat in my hands, two years to the day since I threw a spin ball smack into the middle of a stump and much too long since looking at a game live, or on the television. I am doomed. See, back in the day when I my permanent residence was Dominica, I lived for rainy days when we played cricket in the through the downpour with our mothers screaming at us if we caught a cold.

I existed solely for pick up matches and Sunday afternoons when my dad and his team competed with opposing villages for the title of head honchos. Of course back then they substituted tea for shots for rum, were drunk by the first inning and never completed a single game. Still, those memories keep me sane on the bitter cold American evenings and early mornings when I cannot sleep because the sound of engines drive me insane.

Yesterday I spoke to my little sister who rubbed in my face the fact that she was about to play cricket with the boys on the beach. It serves me right doesn’t it? I mean I practically ran away from home to come to the US without thinking of the consequences. True, I have made a little life here for myself but what is life without cricket? It’s like telling a hardcore football fan to give up his life’s passion; like keeping a whale from the water…that’s not fair right!

And so today I wanted to remember all the great things about the game. Wooden stumps collapsing from a hit, LBW’s called before they are even made, village children playing in the dirt and rain, the spirit of togetherness and eleven players all dressed in white.

Which brings me to the subject of white uniforms; everyone wants to know why cricketers wear white? Well it’s for the simple reason that the ball is red and therefore white is the best dress for visibility. In a white background, the ball can be seen clearly by the man about to hit that cricket ball into history. I myself like to think that it’s because we are purists. The game of cricket is so pure that we do not want to sully it by wearing anything but white.

So the next time you feel the need to make fun of the game of cricket, or laugh and the wonderful men and women who drink tea during breaks, think of the millions more people out there who are staunch supporters of the art. Yea I said art because that’s what it essentially is. Cricket is a blooming art form that many have tried but few have mastered.

Think Sir Jacob Hobbs, Adam Gilchrist, Sachin Tendulkar, Sir Garfield Sobers, Vivian Richards, Don Bradman and all the other cricket greats who have made the game both remarkable and memorable.

To be quite honest there isn’t another game like that of cricket (not in my book anyway). And the next time you are lucky enough to visit England, Australia, Pakistan, India and any of the 700 and some Caribbean Islands, feel free to ask where you can play a pick up game. Not only are we willing to share our art form with you; it’s always nice to indulge a stranger in a spot of tea.

Adios...and good playing.

The Olympic Bird Nest Flop

Can you believe that the multi-million dollar Olympic bird nest built in Beijing has now become a rotting mess? Well it has. Prior to these events, the structural masterpiece was receiving raves from critics all over the world but today that has all changed. Not only is the paint peeling off but it costs 8.8 million a year for mantainance alone. What a drag! The chinese are such an ingenious people that I personally think its only a matter of time before they come up with a few ideas to keep it in one piece.

So far, I have heard that the area around Beijing’s massive Bird’s Nest stadium will be turned into a shopping and entertainment complex in three to five years. How appropriate! The only confirmed event at the 91,000-seat stadium this year is Puccini’s opera “Turandot,” set for Aug. 8—the one-year anniversary of the Olympics’ opening ceremony. Aaawww...here are a few ideas of mine as to what can be done to help the situation.

1. Call up Angelina Jolie - The UN-representative half of the Hollywood power couple has always been willing to help out a worthy cause. From adopting tots off third world countries to lending a sympathetic ear to to those less fortunate; I'm sure she would be delighted to assist.

2. Turn it into a housing development - With a population of over 1.3 billion, goodness knows housing projects are needed just about eveywhere in China. How about turning the masterpiece into a housing development. I'm sure the good folks over there would appreciate it.

3. Have an annual pillow brawl -

TAKEN – Love or hate him Liam Neeson is a god

Die Zeit für Rache ist gekommen. (The time for revenge has come.)

To be brutally honest, as an eternal fan of action flicks, the previews of the upcoming movie TAKEN had me on edge. Not only am I a fan of Mr. Neeson with his stunning good lucks and seductive voice, I am a fan of revenge. This movie seemed too good to be true. Imagine my surprise when I learned that it was all that it had been hyped up to be – and then some.

TAKEN is the most thrilling movie that I have seen in a long time and I have seen a few good movies. I remember trying to get into the theatre to see the movie 300 with my javelin and being told that I had to leave it outside; what a bummer! Suffice to say, after witnessing Gerald Butler in all his male glory (and getting over my initial angst at not being able to transport my lance into hostile territory), I wondered if there would ever be another hero to steal my heart. Ladies and gentlemen I give you British royalty Liam in full James Bond, Jason Bourne mode. I do think that a franchise should be created with that man heading the new – well maybe the ‘not so new’ generation of super spies, but I digress.

From beginning to end I must admit that I was enthralled with the enigmatic Neeson as he makes his way to France and fights perverts’ one section at a time. During the course of the film, we get many a glimpse of the web of human trafficking and the victims hidden behind the curtain that should not be hung. You can therefore understand why I felt not an ounce of remorse when a man was tortured for information and then left to die within darkened chambers. Neither was I moderately annoyed when Mr. Neeson shot the wife of a former friend in the arm to learn the truth from him. Like he explains for all those interested, ‘it’s only a flesh wound but I will kill her if I have to,’ or something to that extent.

All in all, my ‘impressed’ factor rose to the roof after a death defying car chase, swash buckling jumps unto a moving boat and super ninja skills to take out more than half a dozen highly trained killers. Did I mention that I was impressed? After it was all over I could have cried because I wanted more – so much more, which is why we need a TAKEN franchise people. After you have seen this god of a man take out bad guys you will understand. And all in France no less. What could be better than watching your favourite spy kicking some terrorist ass in the most romantic city in the world!

Like someone said, death has never been more satisfying to watch.

Oui, oui, oui

On to a more serious note, while the movie was solely an action one, the crisis in it was all too real and I got to wondering, what someone like me can do to help the situation? It is a sad state of the world when young girls and women are being sold in the name of profit.

How Cold Was That?

The cold warmed my bones though I'm not sure how. It came in sweeping yesterday with a raging fury and deep chill that should have frightened me; it didn't. Instead, the snow fell in beautiful, perfect flakes and covered the world in white. The beauty of it all called to me and in an instant I was outside enjoying the fluff.

It should have been cold alright, especially since I was not wearing any shoes or winter jacket. Not because I hate the bulk but dues to the fact that sometimes you have to let go a little. I prayed to myself that there were no bits of broken glass lying around - there wasn't.