The Thing about Twilight - It Sucks!

Recently I picked up the remarkable literary phenomena otherwise known as Stephanie Meyer's Twilight and received the shock of my life. It sucks! - and not in a good way. Imagine my excitement when I heard that there was a new vampire in town. Boy oh boy was my heart afflutter. Having read the Southern Vampire series and fallen in love with the spectacular viking Eric you may very well understand my exhilaration. Schooled in the art of Ann Rice and the delightful Lestat, you can imagine my burgeoning heartbeat at the news. From "Dracula" to "The Vampyre', "I Am Legend" to "Let the Right One In", I have had my fill of the great works related to the undead and I was poised for yet another soul wrenching tale.

Alas. My poor brain was befuddled, my mind was muddled and the more I read, the more incensed I became. This here in my hand was the book that had taught grown women to fell young again. That had swept through the teenage nation like a chorous of Backstreet Boys and reigned on Amazon. How could that be? At first, I though that I was not reading the story right. That I had forgotten something, somewhere in the breaths of time, that I was being too critical. I tried and tried again but still nothing came clear and the autrocity that was "Twilight" revealed itself. It is horrid.

Never in my life have I heard of vegetarian vampires. Isn't the whole purpose of vegetarianism to stay away from blood? And yet they fed on animals in this terribly crafted tale by a woman who may have a lot to say, but says it terribly. I am not a published writer but I would be ashamed to call such a piece of crap my own if I were. I have heard that young girls are swooning at the sight of the fictional Edward Cullen aka Cedric Diggory aka Robert Pattinson - for crying out loud children!

So...when my sister in law called and told me what a wonderful Love Story the movie had been I decided that she was banned from my life. My brother remarked that it was an incredibly movie and I stopped talking to him too. I will have no part in this idiot vampire tale from anyone; and I shall never read or see anything pertaining to Twilight even on the threat of death. My hatred of everything Twilight is deep and lethal and this seemed like the perfect forum to vent.

Am I being bitter? Not really

Mean? Nah!

Cruel? Not on purpose

Harsh? Hell no!

If I could rewrite history I would make it so that Twilight never existed. The fact that is does sickens me. Considering that I could hardly finish the first book, I would not even pick up a second, however there is some more interesting news. Bella tries to kill herself? Because of Edward? Well go figure! Does anyone else think that Edward is a stalker? That Bella is a simpering idiot who has no sense of independence whatsoever and could not live without a man? Don't get me wrong. Power to the women who continues in the traditional roles of a housewife but dammitt could she be more pathetic! Thank goodness I do not have any teenage daughters. Twilight would be banned in my home and everywhere else that child of mine would roam. But then again, I would not be raising a child who reads Twilight.

Yes, I may get a death threat or a thousand if anyone from the Twi-Club reads this but I am not bothered really. The thing about Twilight is that it Sucks! Literally...but then again, that's just me.