Haiti

There are so many blogs and post and newspaper articles and broadcasts on the disaster that is Haiti right now that I decided to wait a bit before writing anything. And now that the wait is over, here I am. It was a sad day when I heard the news. There is an incredibly important person in my life whose family lives in Haiti and I was distressed by it all. Shock is a strange thing. Somehow the first few moments after hearing about it, I did not know how to react...I was almost...unaffected. Looking back I know that it was a kind of pain settling in for these are my people. And no it's not just becasue they are black - like me, or live on an island - like me, tried to make a life for themselves - like me. No. It stemmed from the fact that they are part of my race...the human race, and what affects my brother and sister creates an impact on me too.

So I offer up my thoughts and my prayers. To the sick and the dead and the dying.

If there's any good in this world I would think that those who left us will come back as sunshine...and every moment that a golden ray warms my heart I'll know...someone had to exit this plane of existence so that I would be warm...it's sad, but it's also a wonderful thing.

Way Too Long

I would like to say that life got in the way and I have not had the time to write this blog but the truth is, I would be lying. I got in the way. Sometimes we are so blinded by our daily existence that we refuse to see that there's bigger and better things out in the world for us to find. That happened to me and for the past eight months I have been living everyone's life but my own.

There is a saying that you have to be happy being YOU before you can concentrate on anyone else. So true is this word of wisdom and though I knew it all along, I concentrated on all the things that were not mine and focused my energy on making the world presentable. I moved things, organized small spaces, got rid of, added more, placed pictures on the walls of lives that I never should have been working on in the first place. You have to help yourself before you can even attempt to help others.

So here I am on this overcast day in January. The sky is an angry grey, my heart is pumping fiercely and my eyes can see the beauty within the coming storm - I am free again. Not from shackles or bars but free from the prison in my head where I placed myself. It was a hard road and the healing has only now begun but this is a start. Baby steps I say, I've never had a lot of patience but I am learning - time is a good teacher.

I've missed the rain and dancing in it, I've missed the feeling of so much potential building up that it scares you to the core, I've missed the smell of fear as I try to do something that is bigger than my dreams, but most of all I miss waking up knowing that I can be anything, do anything, achieve anything that I want to.

My life will no longer be defined by the meaningless drivel that just takes up space.

Heck no!

Because my life is a journey...and everyone else is just along for the ride.

Been a While

Its been a long time since I've done any posting on here and I have decided its time I started again. I began a new job on May 19th at Applebee's. My book is being worked on and I have resigned myself to the fact that I may be here for a while. Which is the reason I am in the process of fixing up the place to make it livable. We'll see what happens from there...

Not Much going on today except...

Matt is too busy being a PI to do anything else so I'm left home alone...hoorah!

Tek is an asshole as usual and goes around jumping up on everyone and everything...bloody hell!

I have this great idea for a book but can't come up with a hook sentence to begin...can anyone say inspiration?

Its been too long since I have not had a job and to be brutally honest its rather frustrating.

My back, I am convcinced is completely broken and I think my nether years are going to be spent walking crookedly.

My Favourite Shows - for now

Numbers do not indicate highest rating.

1. Leverage

2. NCIS

3. United States of Tara

4. The Big Bang Theory

5. Bones

6. Life on Mars

7. Criminal Minds

8. Eureka

9. Legend of the Seeker

10. Battlestar Gallactica

11. True Blood

12. Pushing Daisies (dammitt* they cancelled the show)

13. True Blood

Hugh Jackman is awesome!

To be quite honest I did not look at the oscars last evening and neither did I plan on doing so as I had a lot of writing to do. You know when the inspiration hits you just have to roll with the punches but...OH MY GODNESS! I looked at one thing and one thing only this morning - Hugh Jackman's opening act and I was blown away by it all. The man is a genius.

Talk about total package. The man has great looks, an obviously incredible personality and I learned that he is a funny man as well. Can anyone top that? So hats off to the most talented Australian there ever was. If only his name was anything but Hugh, I'd name all my children after him.

New Book Day

Today I woke with a crak in my neck and sunshine spilling out of windows. I can't remember having left the bloody things open in the first place. I must say that while I love the sun, its terrible to have a creak with beautiful bright lights reminding you how wonderful the day can be. Well that just sucks! I figured since I had one thing going against me and another for, I should take it as a good omen and do something constructive.

I need desperately to begin working on a new book.

Did I mention that I listened to the entire audio of Neil Gaiman reading his latest Nebula Award winning childrens book - wait for it - The Graveyard Book? I enjoyed it immensely and of course I have been a huge fan of the masterful Gaiman since American Gods. Frightfully clever piece of work if I may so myself - inspiring piece of literature that anyone with a good brain for reading should pick up.

Now where was I? Strayed off the topic again I did. Ah well yes - a new book is in order after the horrifying "Confessions of a Vampire," which has left a bitter taste in my mouth and the agents that I tried to ship it off to no doubt. Shame on you lass. So I was thinking something more fanciful, less gory, more imaginative, less brooding. I shall write me a book about a girl whose paintings come to life.

Can't say more than that really. And this time I am suggesting to myself a plot. I do so hate plots as the words just come out of me at their leisure but as Mr. Holmes my High School English teacher always lambased. "You must have a plot for anything to work Miss Stoute, for life to work." Bugger that!

Its just a blooming book. Not like I'm about to sign up for helping out with world peace.

Another day perhaps.